Well, I got through my final day of work by spending yesterday as a camp counselor at the Arctic Edge summer day camp, and it wasn't exactly a picnic, but it's over, so everything's good now.
It just astounds me to think of some of the things for which these children got in trouble. If these kids were my age, one of them would probably have been sued for sexual harassment yesterday - but, then, he'd probably get a break just because the comment made no sense whatsoever. I just have to wonder what would cause a nine-year-old's mind to go to such places?
A few weeks ago, the first time I was on counselor duty, one of the little boys was mad at his brother, and screamed out "You dumb f---!!" Now, though I did get after him for it, it's hard to stay all that mad. There are certain extreme mitigating circumstances with his behavior (and if anyone could drive a decent person to profanity, it would be this boy's brother, who had at the time managed to fall on top of him). Still, it was a bit horrific, and while I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that a child his age would know that word, it still strikes me as wrong.
Yesterday, one of the girl campers said to me, "You know, in our whole lives, I bet I've said more swear words than you." (Rather an odd comment to come out of the blue, but at least it kept her from mimicking the other campers.)
I replied, "You know, sadly, you're probably right."
"It's not sad," she said. "That's just how kids are."
"Yeah, and I think that's kind of sad."
She gave me a weird look, and then dropped the subject.
Fine, I know that the world is full of profanity. George Carlin used to talk about the "seven words you can't say on television," but that number has at least doubled, and all but about three are in regular use on television these days, and they're ALL on HBO. Click the "Next Blog" button in the Blogger toolbar at the top of this site, and chances are you won't get through the first entry without running into an ill-placed swear word. But since when does "that's just how the world is" constitute a good excuse to do something inappropriate?
To use a hackneyed cliché, if everybody else started jumping off tall buildings, would you do it, too?
Now, I'm not going to pretend that every swear word in all its forms offends me (already on this blog, I've related my old "shitty hospital" story, which still makes me laugh). But that doesn't mean I'm going to roll over and buy all this as a simple use of "free expression." I'm a word guy. I'm planning to make my living with the language. I don't like to hear my native tongue get abused.
And there's something ironic about me going on this diatribe on a blog, since the blogging community tends to harbor the greatest volume of swear words. So I'm going to throw together a quick something that may never have been seen on a blog before. Alas, one blog post can't change the world, but here goes nothing anyway...
THE AVERAGE BLOGGER'S GUIDE TO RESPECTING HIS LANGUAGE
Vol. 1: Swear WordsConsider the meaning of the words
Sometimes, you need to stop and wonder why some of the words that are considered profane are considered to be profane. Who decided that implying that a person has certain vital parts of the vertebrate anatomy or that they use them would mean that the person was disagreeable?
Some of the words that are considered inappropriate are looked down upon for a very historical reason, namely, that they come from Anglo-Saxon linguistic roots, which were suppressed in favor of French when the Normans conquered England in the eleventh century and introduced more "polite" terms for the same things. Others are words for obviously disagreeable things that have spawned “tamer” alternatives. But look at those last lines – they’re words. Words with actual etymologies. They’re not just sounds. Using them anywhere and everywhere makes no linguistic sense.
This is the biggest failing of the “F-word.” If you substituted the literal meaning for the word itself, would the sentence make any sense?
Consider the emphasis you needSo we’ve established that these are real words with real meanings, so why should anyone care about them? There is a reason that these words are still frowned upon by parents, teachers, and those who try to keep a professional atmosphere. Because these words have been considered so inappropriate, there is a fair amount of emphasis attached.
And to all you people who think swear words aren’t a big deal: too bad. Old ladies and employers are going to keep them in the emphatic category, and some day you’ll be sorry you gave your parents grief.
So if you’re going to use swear words, ask yourself if you really need to use them. Is the situation really worth offending the sensibilities of people outside your own age bracket? If the words are just thrown around, then they lose all meaning altogether.
If you don’t know the name of the person who made you mad, swear words probably aren’t appropriate. Traffic almost never calls for such words. A petty argument doesn’t call for them. Being tired or sore does not call for them. A vehement response does NOT answer a well-formulated argument.
So you’re annoyed. You can get over it without abusing the vernacular.
Consider how the words are actually usedFor heaven’s sake, remember your grade-school grammar. Nouns are things or concepts (people, places, objects, ideas). Verbs are things you do. If you’re going to use a swear word, use the proper context!
I’ll leave that point there. It might go over a few heads.
So stop, before you swear. Does the literal meaning of the word fit? Do you really need to be that emphatic? And, while I personally can’t think of any situation in which one would really need to put the “F-word” on a blog, if you absolutely positively feel that you have to use it,
it’s a verb.
Yes, I know that’s the kind of blogging that could get a person in trouble for trying to “step on freedom of speech.” I’m not trying to do any such thing. I’m sticking up for the freedom of good speech. It should be shameful enough that our generation invented text-message spelling. Let’s let English keep a little dignity.
… wow, that ramble went on for a while. Still, no worries. At least most of my friends tend to be a little better with their vocabularies.
